I hiked Angel’s Landing, which is the most strenuous trail in Zion National Park in Utah, after deciding not to, but accidentally stumbling upon it and thinking, “Oh hell, why not.” Which is how I do most things in life.

Angel’s Landing is 5.4 miles long, with an elevation gain of 1,500 feet with long cliffside drop-offs. It is not for the faint of heart. However, “Rim Trail” led to the Angel’s Landing trail and with a few hours to kill, I hiked it until I got to Angel’s Landing and just kept going.

Rim Trail

Rim Trail starts as a flat and easy path along the rim, but not far along the incline, it becomes noticeably steeper. At one point, I made a left turn and around the bend was the rock face. I knew then that I was on Angel’s Landing trail. Up ahead, I saw other hikers, zig-zagging switchbacks along the edge of the mountain high above me.

I didn’t want to do the entire trail, but figured I would keep going until I got tired, and then I’d turn around. I noticed in the distance the first summit, which other hikers had told me about. They said it flattens out at the midpoint before going up again. I figured I might aim for that as my ultimate goal. However, I wasn’t opposed to stopping sooner.

So I kept going, leaning forward onto the sloping trail, fighting gravity and the extra 30 pounds I carry around because I love pastries.

Angel’s Landing Trail

It was late in the day for this hike. It was 5:30 pm and they say it takes four hours to get up and back down. The last shuttle from the canyon leaves at 8:15. If you’re not on it, there’s an eight-mile walk back to your vehicle in the darkness.

There weren’t many other people heading up the trail at that point, but several groups were coming down. None of them looked particularly pleased with themselves for having achieved this challenging hike. They just looked grateful to be done. The few I chatted with said things like, “Just glad to be coming back down.” Or “The view is nice, but it’s tough.” It wasn’t exactly inspiring, but I wasn’t going to the top, so it didn’t disturb me.

I kept going, sure and steady, frequently stopping for a minute to let my heart rate slow and wipe the sweat from my brow. It was 104 degrees in the canyon.

Ascent to Angel’s Landing

The trail, though loosely paved with foot grips, was steep enough to sled down. I began to doubt my ability to make it to the midpoint. Plus, my fear of falling was starting to get the better of me. With each switchback, I went higher up the mountain. Some of the drops off at the precarious edge were a bit too close for my comfort.

Finally, I met a cliff face I did not want to pass three-quarters of the way up. It edged out around a corner I could not see past and had about a 750-foot drop over the edge. My breath caught. I was afraid.

Why You Shouldn’t Try Angel’s Landing

The signs and information about the trail admonish anyone who is not physically fit not to attempt it. They further show graphics of people falling off the mountain and encourage you not to try it if you are afraid of heights. If that doesn’t deter you, they also post the “how many days since we’ve had an accident” signs you see in factories and warehouses where they’ve scratched out the number each time it goes higher. It showed that 13 people had died attempting this trail.

It didn’t say where precisely they had died and you would presume it was at the top where I heard chains were used as handholds. But it could have been at the switchback ledge I was now facing, couldn’t it?

Giving Up on a Tough Hike

I turned around and was a few steps away when I realized I’d turned around out of fear instead of tiredness. I said I’d stop when I got tired, not when I got afraid. I sat on a boulder, took my water bottle out of my backpack and looked out at the majestic canyon view.

In Zion, the rock is such a bright red-orange that it glows when the sun hits it. It’s the view that makes it so famous and causes people from around the world to travel to it.

I was so high up that you wouldn’t even be able to see my body if I fell to the ground. A small lizard crawled near me. I watched it grip the rock and climb around unafraid.

How to Conquer Fear

There is only one way to conquer fear. That is to face it. I’ve faced my fear of falling many times and it gets easier each time, even if it never really leaves. It’s surprising to me how many times I still run into it, this fear that waits, quite literally, around corners for my approach so it can make a coward of me. But I am no coward.

I stood and hiked around the corner and kept going. It wasn’t nearly as daunting as my mind had made it.

Trail Part II

Eventually, I made it to a flat terrain in between two rock faces about 40-feet wide. That went for some way to the other side of the mountain. There again, I was greeted by another series of switchbacks heading straight up.

It’s always at this point in the hike where I start to think, “We’ll I’ve come this far. It can’t be much further now, may as well keep going.” But it is always much further than I think it is.

I trudged up and up and up, stopping to catch my breath many times until, finally, it flattened out to what looked like a sandy beach with spectacular views. A bit further on, the trail continues. The sight of it stopped me in my tracks.

Chains on Angel’s Landing

I’d known that there were trail chains you could hold on to, but not that you must hold on to them. Nobody in their right mind would have called it a “trail” if it weren’t for the telltale chains showing you the way. From my perspective, it looked more like climbing than hiking at that point. Several people were holding the chains, appearing to struggle mightily for a foothold above a 1,200-foot drop.

Since it was an out-and-back trail, the people coming down had to maneuver around the people going up, while only one side could hold the chains at a time.

“Nope.” I must have said out loud.

“Agree,” a woman next to me said. “I tried that first part here that you can see and slid back down on my rear end. It goes on like that for a while. It didn’t look like the view would be much better.”

Another couple nearby heard us talking and joined in. They’d done the entire thing.

“The juice is not worth the squeeze,” the man said.

Angel’s Landing

I had never planned on hiking this far, so I didn’t need convincing. I’d far surpassed what I set to do, having never intended to attempt Angel’s Landing at all.

I was tired and it was late. I would feel rushed and nervous. That was not a good combination. So, I took a picture and turned around to head back down.

Because you know the people who don’t die on Angel’s Landing? The smart ones. The ones who know their strengths and weaknesses. The ones who know how to limit themselves and when to stop instead of pushing too far.

Descending from Angel’s Landing Trail

The way down was a different challenge entirely. Gravity wants to push you down the mountain and I realized the bumps in the pavement that I crossed on the way up were actually speed bumps to slow you on the way down.

I asked a tween girl nearby to take a picture of me.

“Did you do this entire thing yourself?” she asked.

“Yes.”

“Wow. That’s mental toughness,” she said.

She took the picture and she and her brother walked alongside me for a while. Their family was further behind on the trail. They asked me questions as we walked about being scared and why I was alone. I gave them simple answers, but later I thought it was not so simple.

Mental Toughness

It didn’t occur to me that hiking a trail alone requires “mental toughness,” but it does—especially a trail like Angel’s Landing. Doing anything alone requires guts. Even something as simple as eating alone in a restaurant.

But it’s like hiking a difficult trail. You do it one step at a time and each step builds on the one before. Eventually, you realize you’ve done it.

Doing things alone requires mental toughness because you don’t have anyone to depend on for help, advice, or encouragement. Hell, you don’t even have anyone to call your family if you happen to fall off the side of the mountain. Maybe nobody will even know. Being alone, you must be ok with that.

You must be your own voice of doubt and encouragement. You’ll have to trust your own judgment. You must know when to turn around on the trail and when to forge ahead in the face of nonsensical fear. This goes for far more than just hiking.

Not Finishing a Trail

Not finishing Angel’s Landing was a tough choice once I was up there. It took the same mental toughness that it took to get to that point. I don’t like to quit if I think I can do something. I think I could have done it. But thinking I can and knowing I can are two different things.

Being solo, you must be twice as strong in all aspects. I must always know beyond a doubt what I can and cannot do. I must know myself completely. How many people can say that they know themselves that well? Until you’ve done hard things alone, you cannot.

It’s not easy, but it’s worth it.

Visit Zion National Park in Utah on State Route 9 in Springdale.

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